Some Wedding Shots and Vows

It was a beautiful and sunny day in Southeast on June 10. We got married on the bow of the MV Delphinus. http://www.dolphincharters.com There was a bit of wind but it was warm and everyone stood by on the dock to witness the event. Here's a couple of photos from the day. When the photographer went to take the traditional ring photo she took one look at our hands and said "oh no never mind". But we managed to arrange them to make them look somewhat decent, rough hands come with the territory. I had a request to send/post the vows, so here they are posted below. Capt. Ronn did a great job presiding over the ceremony. The Mouse ears are from Disney World. Jonathan proposed under the fireworks show at Epcot Center with Amy and Bob on one side and Martha and dave on the other. Very brave. So Amy got us the ears and we vowed we would wear them on our wedding day, so did Dolly.

CAPT. RONN: Friends and neighbors and relatives, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Jonathan and Megan. To do so, we must perform these vows in an act of ceremony.
But what are these things: to wed, to marry, to take a wedding vow? Vows have the crucial feature of making real the very act to which the vows refer, the union of two people in marriage.
It's not enough just to think the words of the wedding vow, no matter how sincerely you may be thinking them. (If it were enough, then I wouldn't be here and neither would you.) And it's not enough even to say them. (If it were, Jonathan and Megan could just recite these lines to each other in a skiff, say, or while making smoked salmon, and—voila—they'd be married.)
Although we've just begun the ceremony, some interesting questions have already gathered on the horizon: Is this set of words, so far, “accepted”? Are they “appropriate for the dedication of a marriage”? Are we doing the wedding “correctly” and “completely”? Is it enough simply to say, “Do you, Megan, take Jonathan to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
MEGAN: “I do.”
Capt. RONN: “And do you, Jonathan, take Megan to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
Jonathan: “I do.”
CAPT. RONN: As it turns out, it is enough, and the words just uttered by both Megan and Jonathan are sufficient—but not because of the words themselves.
First of all the words must be meant “seriously” and not self-ref.
The problem with that, though, is that the distinction between serious and non-serious is always uncertain, especially with these two, and any attempt to solve that problem by insisting on the “proper” context for a statement is bound to fail.
For example, we are all familiar with the sign on the dock that reads “no unattended dogs on the dock”. But this sign fails to take into consideration that the dogs can’t read the sign. As the sign has clearly been ordered from a professional sign maker and posted in a conspicuous location, through its context we understand it to be serious. It's a bit like the comedian George Carlin's observation about official signs. “NO JOKES,” perhaps, “but what about riddles?”
Our point is that the distinction between “serious” and “nonserious” as determining what makes this ceremony binding doesn't solve the problem; it only pushes it back a notch. We can only ask, “Did you, Jonathan and Megan, seriously mean what you just said about taking each other as husband and wife?”
MEGAN AND JONATHAN: Yes, we did.
CAPT. RONN: Okay, good. Now we're getting somewhere, legally speaking. When such words are uttered in the “appropriate” context—by two parties who have obtained a marriage license, presided over by me (“by the power vested in me,” as we often hear), and so on—then those words are nevertheless binding, no matter what anyone thinks.
All of which is why the very first definition of the word “marry” in the Oxford English Dictionary is “to join for life as husband and wife according to the laws and customs of a nation”. And this, in turn, is why it is misguided to think that what validates a wedding ceremony is the making public of innermost feelings, and the sincerity or earnestness them. That may be a dramitic performance, but it is beside the point of the wedding vow.
This is why the act of marrying, is to be described as the saying of certain words, rather than as performing a private and spiritual action.
To understand the act otherwise—to see it as, indeed, the outward sign of a private and spiritual action—is precisely what makes most wedding vows so uncomfortable for Megan and Jonathan.
Such pronouncements, heartfelt though they may be, indulge in a fundamental misunderstanding. They do not understand that the power of the wedding vow as a performance doesn’t come from the bride and groom revealing their most intimate and spiritual feelings—as if somehow the more heartfelt and confessional your ceremony is, the more married you are—but rather from the public and repetitive nature of the act itself.
This is why Megan and Jonathan are not going to drone on today about how much they care about each other, how they promise to do this and not do that, and so on. First of all, they assume that you all already know how they feel about each other without being told in graphic and revealing detail—that's why you're here. And second of all, it takes a lifetime, not twenty minutes, for two people to define for themselves what the word “marriage” means. Your presence here is simply to witness their commitment to undertake such a mission.
In sum, then, it is not the “uniqueness” or “originality” or “sincerity” of the vow that carries its force but its repeatability, its utter unoriginality. So that is how we find ourselves at this moment in the middle of a vow that is itself largely about vows. That such a vow may itself be taken as highly “original” perfectly exemplifies the point about statements and context that provides the joke in the “No Dogs on the Dock” sign: If we wrote a vow about vows, you would have to take it seriously, wouldn't you?
So it isn't that you, Megan and Jonathan, have said particular words, or even that you have performed particular acts such as the customary exchanging of rings to symbolize your commitment to each other.
[Megan and Jonathan exchange rings.]
Rather, it is that you have agreed to do and say these things under certain binding circumstances—circumstances to which you have, as it were, surrendered yourselves.
And now I will say, “by the power vested in me,” that I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jonathan, you may now kiss-- not your girlfriend, or your domestic partner, but your wife with a binding force more powerful than all the kisses that came before.

Wedding Party Prep at the Cabin

The weeks before the wedding were very busy down at the cabin. Jonathan really hustled to get it ready for the hoe down. The first priority was an outhouse. We have the best seat in Alaska in there including a sky light, running water in the sink and...urinal. The obligatory half moon on the door is from his family's floathouse. My Mom and Dad refinished the two header from the barn outhouse in Marshfield (circa 1838) for a wedding gift. So our outhouse is a real heirloom.




Jonathan and Dusty dug into the mud going down to the creek to get these steps in so our guests could get down to the creek. They are beautiful with oyster, clam and scallop shell risers. We had a lot of shells to line the paths with.









Continuing across the creek, Jonathan cut through some of the logs that lay across the path to make a beautiful path down to the beach. This was no small task he had to get out the big chainsaw (Big Red) with a six foot bar to cut through one that was easily five feet around. You can see it just beyond the tent (accomodations for out of town guest). We used to have to slip and slide to climb over that log which was a major obstacle to getting to the beach, but never the less a really impressive log/former tree. The path now goes through an opening he cut in it. The cut pieces were used to make stepping stones along the path. He carved our initials in one side, which made me cry because that is so romantic.




He also put some railings up with beach-combed boom chains to prevent people from falling off the porch (it worked!). The wedding turned out to be a beautiful day and we ate outside. Everyone brought their favorite potluck dish and ate on tables! There was a campfire burning in front of the greenhouse just in case it turned cool. Log torches burned the length of the driveway to light the way down the driveway and keep the no-see-ums away.